July 31, 2008

• Fellow xangans mentioned a couple of things that have been on my mind.

  One is friending. I got a friend request yesterday from Unyk. Just now, looking up the link for you I discovered that I can also access it in English, but I was approached in French and when I sign in, I get French, so I guess it's one of those wonders of the flat world. It can perhaps encourage my current French language studies.

  So then I went and took out the "making friends" option at a networking site that I belong to for professional reasons. Well, I belonged to it before under an alias, but I put my real name in in the course of plying the Dark Art, and now that I'm on hiatus I can be as unfriendly as I really want to be.

  It isn't really that I'm unfriendly. I always accept friend requests here at xanga and at facebook, unless of course they are from unclothed people who clearly haven't made any effort to get to know me. And in real life I am reasonably though not excessively friendly.

  But I don't have time to develop virtual friendships. I can just about keep up with my xanga neighborhood. I have some slight presence in some of the blog communities related to my work. I have friends in the real world, even. It isn't realistic for me to try to keep up with all the possible online communities. I have to pick one. So I removed the bit that says I'm at that other website to "make friends." Because I'm just not.

  The other topic was the obsessive writing about one's flaws/problems/issues/decisions which goes on here at xanga. It's gone on here chez fibermom lately, too. I totally agree that it becomes boring to the writer.

  I'm not sure it actually is as boring to the reader. I read the "I am so bored with myself!" comments and was surprised, because I always found those guys very interesting. But I know I've said that myself. Umm... a lot, lately.

  But you know, writing about these niggling things here at xanga allows us not to talk about them absolutely all the time to people who can't escape from us (because we're physically present with them). or to we whom shouldn't talk about them. I personally would have been boring the Computer Guy with this stuff, I know it, and he is also Client #2, and absolutely not someone in whom I should confide about my job interviews and uncertainties.

  And who knows how many relationships have been saved from endless "Where is this relationship going?" talks by the rehashing of the question here at xanga.

  Xangans are enormously supportive of one another in these cases, too. Not one single reader has yet said, even in a private email, "Shut UP already, fibermom, we all know what you're going to do even if you don't, and we've all encouraged you till we're sick of it." People in my real life have, I assure you.

  So it is probably good for us to do our obsessing here.

  I looked at my forthcoming website yesterday. It is quite nice. I am looking forward to having it go live. And, having made the investment, it would have been stupid of me not to go ahead and use it. I also gathered up several new assignments, and felt much more excited about them than I have about the salaried job I've been interviewing for. So I came home and emailed the company I've been interviewing with a nice little note saying thank you so much for having me, but I don't want the job.

  So you don't have to listen to that any more.

  Let's see: what can I obsess about now?

  Let me tell you that, counting my new computer, website (custom design and a year's hosting), books, business cards, and software, I have spent less than $2,000 to set up my business. I have earned way more than that.

  However, I may need to buy another and more expensive package of software, which would tip me over that 2k. Maybe I can obsess about that a little bit.

  • 10:17 pm
  • 4 Comments